Friends and family - the single parent's saviours

Not everyone is lucky enough to have a loving family around them which is so important, particularly if you're a single parent.  Thankfully I'm not one of them.  My parents have been supportive and loving throughout my journey as a single parent which has been a long and, at times, difficult one.  They've assisted me financially, helped with practical things like DIY and gardening and always had an open door where we can go for a home cooked meal or a hot shower (mine hasn't worked for about 2 years and I can't afford to get it fixed so it's a bath or a trip to the parents' house for me).  I'm sure my parents weren't thrilled when I got pregnant at 21 and certainly when I ended up going it alone but they've been there for me and my son and they adore him.  He is their only grandchild and they have always been amazing with him and continue to be to this day.

The rest of my family are great too.  Sadly, all my grandparents have passed away but my grandma (who passed away in 2010) was fantastic to me and my son and did as much as she could for us.  The rest of them unfortunately never knew him but I know they would have been equally supportive.  As I've previously explained, my only sibling - my beloved brother - unexpectedly passed away almost a year ago.  He and his wife, although they lived in London, were extremely close to both myself and my son and offered us both friendship, laughter, joy and unconditional love.  We continue to remain close to my sister in law and she and I have often taken comfort and strength from each other over the last year.  My brother, together with my father, were my son's male role models throughout his life following the departure of his own father from his life when he was 4 years old.  My son misses his uncle greatly and feels the loss of that young male figure intently even though my father continues to remain a constant presence in his life.

I also have wonderful aunts and cousins, who together with their families, offer love, advice and kindness whenever it is needed.  Because of all these lovely people in my life, I consider myself a very lucky girl.  But sometimes things happen in your life that you just can't talk about to your family.

That's when you need your friends.  It doesn't matter whether you've got one friend or one hundred as long as you know you've got someone that you can call up and moan to, who you can share your deepest darkest secrets with without fear of judgement and whose sofa you could crash on if you were in a tricky situation.  I am lucky enough to have lots of friends but there are probably around five who I could do all those things with.  My best friend, in particular, is simply irreplaceable in my life.  She listens, offers advice, knows everything about me, calls me an idiot when I need it, treats me when I'm skint (which, as you know, is all the time), supports me through difficult times (she was amazing during the worst two weeks of my life last year even though she was away on holiday and she continues to be to this day) and is just generally fabulous.  I feel privileged to know her and my other friends and know that, as a single parent in particular, I couldn't survive without them.  They've always appreciated the fact that my son is around, the fact that, when he was younger, I couldn't just drop everything and go out, the fact that I never had much money and just generally the fact that I was a mother when most of them weren't.  

There are things that you can't talk about to your parents and family whether you're a single parent or not.  There are things they wouldn't understand, wouldn't appreciate, wouldn't like or sometimes wouldn't believe!! These are the times when a friend, particularly ones of a similar age to you, rises to the occasion.  It's because of the way my friends have been with me that I really try to be as good a friend as I can to them.  Ok, I can't buy them lots of things and go out with them as much as I'd like to but I can be there for them, listen, give them advice if they ask for it, give them a hug and a kind word when they need it and support them as much as they support me.

I may not have any money and a serious lack of social life, I may be overweight, unfit and unhappy with my appearance, I may be eternally single and hate it (even though all my friends are in relationships or married).  I may be all those things but at least I'm lucky enough to have my health, a roof over my head, a wonderful son, a loving family and amazing, fantastic friends.  And I would like to say thank you to them all - whether they be the ones I see regularly and can count on for anything - or the ones I only see occasionally but who it feels like we saw each other last week, or the ones that I haven't seen for ages but chat to on Facebook or Twitter, offering comments and kind words on statuses or tweets.  Thank you all for being in my life.  I'm grateful to know you all.

Vicki

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