Well, today is my last day of freedom......probably until I retire!!! My last summer with no work to do has come to an end and tomorrow I start my new life as a member of the Graduate Teacher Programme. Am I looking forward to it? Am I excited? These are the types of questions I keep being asked. The answer is no. I am not looking forward to it. I am scared stiff, feel completely unprepared and think I am way out of my depth. I have no idea what is expected of me, what I will be doing, very little Key Stage 2 subject knowledge and the school is completely different to anywhere I've ever worked before. In short, I am a nervous wreck!!!
I have 6 years experience of working in a school. Some people coming onto the programme have none. I really do not know how they must be feeling if I feel like this! All my experience is in Foundation Stage - with little children - who I know and understand and which has a curriculum I am familiar with (although, like most things in education these days, this is being changed this September too). Those 6 years of experience will count for nothing when, on Tuesday (tomorrow is an inset day where I have no idea what I'll be doing), I am faced with a large class of 9 and 10 year olds (albeit I have a teacher with me who will be doing most of the teaching at this stage - or at least that's what I've been led to believe!).
From now on, my workload will be huge. At the induction day, some GTP's from this last academic year did a talk and warned us just how huge it will be. I fully expect to have no life for the next 11 months (which will work out quite well given that the drop in salary has made any kind of social life null and void anyway). My evenings and weekends will be taken up with planning and other such things that I can only imagine at the moment. And then, in May, if I achieve my QTS then I will have to start looking for a job for next September. Next September I will be an NQT (hopefully!) and I will be in the same boat all over again. Nervous, petrified and jumping into the unknown. Except then the entire responsibility for the class will be mine - from day one.
Phew, there is a lot to deal with from now on. From tomorrow onwards, my holidays will not be for fun. They will be for catching up on work and doing planning, reports and other such paperwork. I will never be free again. But hopefully, I will enjoy my job most of the time and will continue to feel the satisfaction and pride that I have felt for the past 6 years at seeing children flourish during their time with me. With a bit of luck it will be worth it. And in a few years time, I will wonder what I was worried about on this day. The day of reckoning. The day before the madness starts.
Victoria
<3
No comments:
Post a Comment